


Rewind

by Withoutalightofollow



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-09-01
Updated: 2011-10-03
Packaged: 2017-10-23 07:46:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/247887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Withoutalightofollow/pseuds/Withoutalightofollow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(A work in progress!) An alternate universe fic.  Ten years after X-Men: First Class takes place, Erik is scheming new plans and training a mutant to help him with overturning the non-mutants.  Everything is going well until he hears "good" news -- something has happened to Charles.  He battles his inner emotions and discovers feelings he never knew existed, or perhaps had just been attempting to hide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pause

**Author's Note:**

> I still have things to work out, but here goes!

The click-clacking of Erik Lehnsherr’s black leather shoes was the only sound to be heard in the long dark hallway. He was used to this solitary walk and usually spent it deep in thought. Today the only thought bouncing around in his head was the sick and nervous feeling that something was not okay. While he knew it was just another day, just another sunrise to sunset spent working to make the world into a place where mutants need not live in fear, he also couldn’t shake this terrible feeling that something was wrong. His worries were interrupted by his arrival at a large, smooth, silver door with no handles or hinges. There were several metallic clicks as his hand glided down the length of the door frame, and after a moment it opened inward. Erik took just one step into the room and instantly felt a warmth that he rarely felt anywhere else in the Brotherhood. He took a purposeful stride into the room as the door swung closed behind him.

“Kali,” He said loudly, but calmly. There was a rustling from a connecting room in response to his voice.  
“Just a moment!” A female voice answered. Not a second after the words reached his ears did a girl with long chocolate hair seem to appear right in front of him.

  
“You know I don’t appreciate you doing that, Kali,” Erik spoke attempting to stifle the surprise in his voice. This happened almost every time he visited her, but still never failed to catch him off guard.

  
Kali smirked. “Sorry, Erik. I just needed a little extra time to get ready. “

  
“You know for someone with the power to control time, you really have an awful problem with managing it,” he said as he picked up one of the books that had been scattered across the table beside him. “But I suppose I can’t be too upset, seeing as today we are practicing pausing anyway.”

  
“Oh yay!” She couldn’t deny her excitement. Pausing had always been something she was skilled with. Since she was a young girl, she had a habit of pausing things when she was scared or even just curious about something. It was such a useful thing to be able to examine an object or person for a long time without being bothered by the rest of the world.

  
“Don’t get too happy. We’re going to try something new today. Something that may take a little more effort.” After he finished his sentence, he quickly tossed a book in the air, aiming directly for Kali’s face.

  
Everything stopped.

  
Kali blinked a few times and breathed a deep breath to calm herself. Erik was always testing her and her powers, and while it was helpful – sometimes she wished that he would stop throwing things at her face. After her heartbeat was back to regular, she reached toward her copy of Slaughterhouse 5, which was floating, suspended in the air a few inches in front of her face. She grabbed the novel by its binding and pulled it down to set it back on the table where it had been originally. Once the book was out of the air, she had a clear view of the man who had thrown it at her. His hand was still raised, but his body was in a sturdy stance, as if the action had taken no thought or effort. She slowly took a few steps forward until she was directly in front of him. With deep concentration, her eyes met with his eyes and even though his seemed to be focused where she used to be standing, she still felt like she was making a connection. This wasn’t a new practice. For years she had frozen time simply to admire him. She wouldn’t ever tell him that, though, of course.

  
She continued to scan every skin cell, every wrinkle, every pore of his face. He wasn’t anywhere near to being a youthful man in looks, but she couldn’t help but have a childish adoration for every inch of this man. She had read about strapping young men in her books but since she had been cooped up in this building for most of her life, she hadn’t ever really experienced them. The only man, and really the only person, she had interacted with since a young age was Erik.

  
He visited her about three times a week. When she was younger, he visited her more often but since she had grown and could entertain herself with reading and other pass-times he came less and less. When he did come now it was almost always solely to work on her powers and nothing else. Kali respected Erik’s decisions and trusted he would only do what was best for her, but still she couldn’t help but feel hurt by this. She missed her childhood. She missed when he would come read to her and teach her about the world. Now it felt as though all he cared about was her mutation. She used to feel like his child but now felt more like his tool. Still, even after all of that, she loved him. Not necessarily a romantic kind of love, but rather a complete devotion kind of love. She would do anything for him and would die to make him happy.

  
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Erik’s hand start to move. It was a very slow movement, but it was her warning that her pause was fading and time was about to begin again. She met his eyes again and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek like she always did, then stepped backwards to her previous standing position.

  
The pause ended.

  
Erik’s hand returned to his side as his eyes glanced from the empty air in front of him, to the book on the table.

  
“Good work, Kali, but you need to learn to control your power more directly.”

  
She furrowed her brow as he picked it back up off the table.

  
“This time, pause only the book,” he directed.

  
“…but Erik…I can’t pause things – just time.”

  
“No, you couldn’t pause things. But you will learn,” he said assuredly.

  
He sounded so confident, but she was positive she wouldn’t be able to stop just the book. She needed to pause time as a whole. She trusted him, though, so she agreed to try. He tossed it toward her.

  
Everything stopped, again.

  
The whole room was frozen, as well as Erik. She grabbed the book and unpaused. Frustrated, she reached her hand out to give it back to him and said, “See?!”

  
“It will take some time, but we will do this. I know we can do it and I know you can do it.” Just as he was about to reach for the book again, he heard a voice in his ear.

  
“Sir, something has happened. You may need to come to headquarters as soon as possible.”

  
He sighed and looked back at Kali. She was a beautiful girl with a beautiful power. It was always hard for him to leave her here when there was so much potential in her. Sometimes he was tempted to just spend all of his days here with her, training her, making her stronger. If she harnessed her power as well as he believed she could, he could finally carry through with his plans that he had in mind for years. The plans he had since that day he and Charles had argued over whether or not to recruit the 10 year old girl as part of their team. Erik knew there were great possibilities in this girl but when he tried to explain how her mutation could change the fight to Charles, he simply said that there was no ‘fight’ and if there were to be one, it was no place for a young girl. Once Erik was on his own and had separated from Charles, one of the first things he did was go to the coordinates of the orphanage where they had located her before. He knew it was a very small chance that she was still there, but sure enough he found the quiet, curious, green-eyed girl that he had so much hope for. From that day on, he had her live in the very nice underground section of his building that he had created just for her. It was a wonderful place for a child to grow up, with plenty of toys and a library bigger than most could imagine. He took on the role of her father and taught her everything he knew and believed about the world - including the constant battle between mutants and their lesser advanced kin. He told her how one day she would be the reason that people with super-human powers would no longer live with fear or worry of people trying to kill them or exile them because they didn’t understand.

  
“Are you alright?” Kali asked. It seemed as though she had frozen time by the looks of how still Erik was being.

  
He snapped back from his memories. “Yes, of course. I’m fine. I have to go. I’ll be back tomorrow to work more with this. Practice while I am away.” Walking with the slightest hint of hesitance, he headed toward the exit. His hand slid down the door, it clicked open, and he walked through it without a second glance back.

  
The large door closed behind him with a resounding boom. Kali was once again left alone.


	2. Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik hears the news.

  


As Erik entered the room almost uncomfortably full of people, he noticed the conversation died down and there was a sense of apprehension in the air.

“Good morning, sir,” A man with skin the color of fire approached him.

“What’s this news that was so urgent?” Erik said with obvious annoyance.

“Sir, there has been an incedent.” Everyone’s eyes were on him.

“Out with it, what has happened?”

“Professor Xavier…”

“Oh Christ, what has Charles done now?”

“Well that’s just it, sir. He hasn’t done anything. He can’t. He’s dead.”

It took a moment for Erik to absorb the information. He stared into the eyes of the red-skinned man to look for any sign of deceit. There wasn’t one. He could tell by the fear and almost excitement in his eyes that he wasn’t lying. Erik couldn’t explain it, but the excitement part of the man’s emotions made him angry. He wanted to rip his spine out for being so insensitive. He wanted to stab a steel knife through all of the eyes around the room that were looking to him for some sort of approval or celebration. He wanted to scream and he wanted to lash out, but most of all he wanted to cry. He could feel the sadness rising into his eyes and he could feel the tears trying to escape. While this sickness and anger is all he could feel on the inside, he knew he could show neither on the outside. He needed to remain strong and unemotional to the crowd. As their leader, he needed to be powerful and not show any signs of weakness. While attempting to collect himself he started to wonder why he was even having these feelings. Why wasn’t he happy? The man who had been standing between him and his goal for so long was gone. He could finally accomplish what he had been fighting to do for the past thirteen years. Yet, there was no thought of these goals in his mind right now. All he could think about was how a wonderful, strong, and kind man was no longer in this world. It made him feel devastated and above all -- alone.

“…sir? Are you okay? Are you not pleased with this news?” said a confused voice in the crowd.

Pushing back tears and anger, Erik turned his head quickly to the person who had spoken to him. He straightened his posture, took a deep breath and said, “Of course I am pleased. My head is just swimming with ideas of what we can accomplish. I need to go to my quarters and work out the perfect plan, now that we know it will not be interfered with.” As he turned toward the door a sigh of relief came over the crowd and everyone began to cheer, celebrate, and speak to each other with excitement.

“I guess Professor X is more like Professor X-tinct, now, huh?!”

“Too bad he couldn’t read the future instead of minds, maybe he woulda seen it coming!”

“My only regret is that I didn’t get to kill that cripple myself.”

“STOP.” Erik whipped around. The room went silent again. The fear returned to their eyes. Subduing his rage, he simply continued with words spoken through clenched teeth, “Stop wasting time with this silly celebration and get back to work. We have a lot to do. You –“ He pointed to the fire-skinned man, “Come with me.” The two quickly exited the room together.

  


The man looked nervous as they entered the hallway. Erik turned and tried to not show his concern but asked, “What…whe…How did it happen?”  
  
“At his school, Magneto. I hear he was training a new student and something with the mutant’s powers went ary and sent the professor down a flight of stairs. They say he would have been fine had he been normal but with the wheelchair landing on him and all…” he trailed off, poorly concealing a smirk.  
  
Erik closed his eyes and tried not to, but could only imagine it. He could picture it so clearly…Charles trying to help a frightened young mutant learn how to control his or her powers but fate only repaying him with a fatal fall down the stairs. He opened his eyes again and looked up.   
  
“Thank you for this information. Return and tell the others that I am not to be bothered for a few days. I will see no one and no one will see me until I say so.”  
  
“But sir—“  
  
“I said no one will see me. You are all smart enough to figure out productive things to do with your time, you do not need me to tell you your duties. No plans outside of this building are to be carried out without my permission. No one does anything unauthorized. And again, no one bothers me. Now go inform the others.”  
  
Without another word of protest, the man left. Erik turned and walked rapidly through the building to his room. Once he arrived he slammed the door shut behind him and stood. He stood for a substantial amount of time, staring at the ground. Thoughts were racing through his mind and he couldn’t stop them and could barely even understand any of them they were going so quickly.   
  
Having so many emotions and having them be so out of his control started to make him very weak very suddenly. Somehow, he managed to reach his bed and fell into it. Maybe sleep would help this sadness.   
  
A few hours passed and sure enough, as he woke the first thing to come to his mind was Charles. Except this time not only did he feel sadness but he felt another emotion. This one made him feel even more sick. It was guilt. Perhaps it was in the back of his mind the whole time, or perhaps he had realized it in his dream but it seemed to come to him suddenly and without warning the instant he woke.   
  
“He would have been fine… if it weren’t for the wheelchair landing on him,” the words replayed over and over again in his head. If it weren’t for the wheelchair. That god damned wheelchair.  
  
Not understanding this feeling nor how to handle it, Erik’s hands flew to the sides of his head as his body curled into a ball. His eyelids were clenched together tightly but he tried harder and harder to get them even tighter. He covered his ears and held his breath, as if trying to block out all of the thoughts racing through his head. It did no good.  
  
Erik considered himself a dignified man, always maintaining his composure and never showing any signs of weakness. The next few days were the opposite of that. He stayed in his room doing nothing but struggling with pain and torturing himself. Minutes turned into hours and hours turned into days. He wasn’t really sure what time it was anymore and didn’t really care. He had slept more than he had in his whole life, yet still felt tired. He hadn’t eaten in days. Every time he tried to get anything down, it would come right back up.  
  
A discovery was made in these hours of struggling, though. Erik had realized why he was feeling so guilty. It was so obvious, but he had tried to avoid it for so long. The wheelchair was his fault. He had not only caused Charles an inconvenience for the past thirteen years, but had personally been the reason for his death. His thoughts flashed back to that day on the beach.  
  
Charles had been foolishly trying to convince Erik that the hundreds of soldiers in the ocean were good people. Good people with guns aimed directly at them. Good people who were only following orders. It must have been that excuse – just following orders – that had made him so upset. The memories of his mother and his time in the camps overtook his emotions and his mind was clouded. While he and Charles had worked so much on his powers and controlling them, he was once again back to using anger rather than peace like Charles had taught him. He used anger to deflect those bullets and ultimately used anger to shoot that bullet into the one man he had ever truly cared about. For years Erik had pushed it to the back of his thoughts by saying it wasn’t his fault. He was right, Charles was wrong. He was being shot at, and only defending himself. But, no matter what he told himself, it was still his fault he had lost control. It was his fault the bullet hit Charles. It was his fault Charles was in a wheel chair and it was his fault Charles was dead.  
  
Making this discovery made the entire situation unbelievably more painful, yet oddly easier to deal with in Erik’s mind. Now that he could grasp and understand his feelings, it was easier to internalize and possibly repress. It was his fault. He hated himself for it. But it’s not like he had ever really liked himself, anyway. Erik was not a fan of Magneto. He hated hurting people and he despised the things he had to do, but that’s just it – he had to do them. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the greater good, and the mutants were the greater good. The best way to deal with this, he decided, was to simply say goodbye to Erik. Erik Lehnsherr died with Charles. And just like that, they were both gone, and now Magneto was free to lead the mutants into the war he had waited so long for.  
  
Magneto looked into his mirror, which he hadn’t been able to do in days, and stared into his own eyes. Not only could he feel a change, but he saw one. Any happiness or hope that had been there was gone.   
  
Magneto composed himself and returned to slightly worried crew to prove that he was still prepared to fight. No questions were asked, and plans were being made within the hour.

**Author's Note:**

> Any notes or suggestions?! Let me know!


End file.
